Soul Mates

If we are lucky, in our lifetime we will develop relationships with people who we think of as our soul mates.

Soul mate. noun. A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

A few people come to mind when I think of my soul mates; girlfriends, a very special man in my life, and my siblings.  Some might argue that each of us is only allotted one soul mate on this earth.  I would vehemently disagree.

I have girlfriends who know me better than I know myself.   They are like the first sips of red wine, when everything starts to feel calm and clear at the same time.  My sister makes me feel safe.  She is like a warm blanket and a cup of coffee.  My husband, he is my soul mate as we are counterparts....he balances me in ways that I never knew I needed before I met him.

My brother and I were soul mates because our most endearing traits made us love one another, and our worst traits we found funny.  He was like my favorite episode of Friends, played over and over.

When you are "ideally suited to another" you share memories that are vivid and beautiful years after they have happened, you have laughed harder than you thought you ever could, you crave time with that person, you are energized once you have it, and when it is gone you feel like you can't live without it.

To me, "ideally suited to another" means that you complement one another.

When that piece is gone, you are missing a part that made you a better version of yourself.  You knew something beautiful, pure, good, and perfect.  Once you've had that, it is hard to go on without.

Sometimes, Matt would squint his eyes, tilt his head and say to me, "What is it sis?  What's goin' on up there?  Just say it."  He called me out on thoughts I was having before they were fully put together in my mind.  I'd say the thought and he'd disagree, or we'd laugh, or we'd debate whatever I said. Towards the end of my time with him, he knew I was going to question him in his addiction.  He'd tell me I was crazy, to calm down, and that he was fine.  He promised he was OK.

Because I knew him so well, because we were soul mates, I knew he wasn't.

These last few weeks I've wanted to talk to him so badly it has hurt.  I've had thoughts, ideas, stories...life to share with him.  Different soul mates fill different corners of your soul.  The corner that he filled has felt immensely vacant lately.  I've needed his opinion, his jokes, his love of love, his positive spin on every single trial more than ever.

Even though that corner is vacant now, I am left better because it was once filled.  I wouldn't give that back to be relieved of the pain of losing him.  

Soul mates make us funnier, smarter, more beautiful...happier.  They enhance our lives in a way that keep us from ever feeling alone.

These people, these soul mates that God puts in our lives are a gift.  Whether it is a gift that lasts only for 27 short but sweet years, or one whose presence lasts a lifetime, they are pure joy.   They make us better.

I think it's important to remember our most perfect and truest soul mate is God.  He knows our hearts, minds, desires, needs, and pain better than any other.

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13

God is so great of a soul mate to us, knew us so well, was aware of the fall we would take, that he took it all for us.  He is our perfect soul mate.

He gave me my Matt, my sister, my beautiful friends, and my husband in my life to comfort, love, lift up, inspire, and complement my soul until I am with him in Heaven.

I will hold my husband close and dearly, he will know how much I appreciate him.  I will savor every sip of wine that accompanies sweet words exchanged with my girlfriends.  My sister and I will curl up under blankets on Saturday mornings, drink coffee, and laugh over the events of the night before.  I will recall every dance with Matt, every time he made me laugh, all of our joy with the knowledge that God gave me my brother, and all of my precious soul mates, to accompany me through this life until I am home again with Him.

One of my best dance partners...my brother, Matt.