I re-read the book as I was preparing to start this blog and was reminded of the sweetness of the story. If you have never read this children's book, the briefest summary is that a circle is missing a pie-shaped piece of itself. It rolls around the world singing and looking for its missing piece. However, when the piece is found, the circle can no longer sing. He (or maybe it is a she) leaves the piece and is once again lonely.
The second (and more poignant) reason that I was led to this title is because of something my pastor said to me last week. In discussing the loss of his sister, he said, "I'm going to be very vulnerable with you here, Julia. It is like someone literally reached inside of my heart, took a piece, and walked away with it. My heart will never be whole again."
My little brother Matthew went to be with the Lord three months ago. He was 27 and it was tragic. Before October 18th, I thought about him, worried, prayed, discussed, and obsessed over him hourly. Since he has died, his name runs through my mind by the minute. When he was with us, I was missing the piece of my brother that I knew and loved. The "old" Matt. Now that he is gone, I am missing every single part of him. With him wasn't quite right during these last two years, and without him is more wrong than I could ever have imagined it to be. My life is changed forever.
My life is changed forever, because I am missing a piece of my heart.
However, I have hope. I have hope and peace in the midst of grief because I know with every ounce of my being that Matt is in heaven. From what I've been told, and reading quite a bit about it lately, heaven is IT. It is where we want to be. I can't be with him now. Sometimes I wish that I could be. But I can't.
So for now, I rest in knowing that no matter how much I worried, prayed, discussed, and obsessed over my little brother, or anything else in my life for that matter, God has a plan for my life. He had a plan of redemption and peace for Matt, and he has a plan for me.
"Dear God, if today I lose my hope, please remind me that your plans are better than my dreams."
